May 27, 2010: Ella on Camping

We are preparing to go on a three day camping trip. CAPITAL C CAMPING - like in a tent, in the wilderness, no running water Camping. I have never been Camping. I have been camping (note the lower case - because it involved running water and something called a tent cabin, hard floor/tent walls). Even I know that wasn't Camping.

Anyway, I have been preparing for it for what seems like forever. Kind of silly that the prep and packing is taking longer than the actual trip will, but I digress.

Today on the way home from school.

Me: I am really going to miss my shower.

Ella: Mama, do not worry. You will just smell like a wild animal. The other wild animals won't even be able to smell you so you will be safe.

Ella: Mama, do you know what to do if a bear approaches you?

None of this is making me feel better!

May 13, 2010: Ella on Sarcasm

One evening we had our friends over for dinner for good times and to celebrate KK’s husband, Andy’s, birthday. When it came time to cut the cupcakes (so to speak) Ella and the grown-ups gathered around and “Auntie” KK offered up a toast to Andy....

KK: I would like to propose a toast to my wonderful husband of 12 years. I never dreamed that I would meet a sweeter, more thoughtful, more wonderful and amazing person….

Ella: (interrupting and in a serious tone and serious face) KK, are you being sarcastic??

KK: No!! I’m being serious!

This was immediately followed by everyone bursting into uncontrollable laughter.

May 12, 2010: Ella on Child Discipline

Ella: Mama what EXACTLY do you mean when you say you brought me into this world and you can take me out?

Me: It means I gave you life and I can take it away.

Her: But not really, right?

Me: No, not really.

Her: Because 1) you would really miss me and 2) you would get arrested and go to jail.

Me: Yep.

May 10, 2010: Quiz of the Day - Humans and Giraffes

Ella: Mama, what do humans and giraffes have in common?

Me: We have necks?

Her: Ugh, Mama, most animals have necks! Humans and giraffes have the same number of bones in their necks. 7.

May 6, 2010: Quiz of the Day - Dolphins & Cows

Ella: Mama, I have a quiz for you. What do dolphins and cows have in common OTHER than their babies are called calves?

Me: Um, they are both big.

Her: Well, that is true mama, but no. They both have two stomachs. 1 is for digestion and 1 is for, well, something else.

May 5, 2010: Ella on Appropriate Clothing

Ella: Mama are these booty shorts?

Me: Ella, do I look like the kind of mother who would allow you to wear booty shorts?

Her: Um, no. And Mama, what are booty shorts anyway?

May 4, 2010: Ella on Farmer(s') Markets

As relayed to me by my friend, Diana.

At the end of last fall we went to a farmer's market in Occoquan. The pickings were pretty slim as it was so late in the season. Ella was telling Miss Diana all about it ...

Ella: Really they shouldn't have called it the Farmers' Market, they should just call it the Farmer Market!

May 3, 2010: Ella on the Human Body

Ella: Mama, how many bones are there in the human body? If I had to guess I'd say 150-160. What do you think?

Me: Let me google that for you.

206. Now you know.