May 13, 2010: Ella on Sarcasm

One evening we had our friends over for dinner for good times and to celebrate KK’s husband, Andy’s, birthday. When it came time to cut the cupcakes (so to speak) Ella and the grown-ups gathered around and “Auntie” KK offered up a toast to Andy....

KK: I would like to propose a toast to my wonderful husband of 12 years. I never dreamed that I would meet a sweeter, more thoughtful, more wonderful and amazing person….

Ella: (interrupting and in a serious tone and serious face) KK, are you being sarcastic??

KK: No!! I’m being serious!

This was immediately followed by everyone bursting into uncontrollable laughter.

May 12, 2010: Ella on Child Discipline

Ella: Mama what EXACTLY do you mean when you say you brought me into this world and you can take me out?

Me: It means I gave you life and I can take it away.

Her: But not really, right?

Me: No, not really.

Her: Because 1) you would really miss me and 2) you would get arrested and go to jail.

Me: Yep.

May 10, 2010: Quiz of the Day - Humans and Giraffes

Ella: Mama, what do humans and giraffes have in common?

Me: We have necks?

Her: Ugh, Mama, most animals have necks! Humans and giraffes have the same number of bones in their necks. 7.

May 6, 2010: Quiz of the Day - Dolphins & Cows

Ella: Mama, I have a quiz for you. What do dolphins and cows have in common OTHER than their babies are called calves?

Me: Um, they are both big.

Her: Well, that is true mama, but no. They both have two stomachs. 1 is for digestion and 1 is for, well, something else.

May 5, 2010: Ella on Appropriate Clothing

Ella: Mama are these booty shorts?

Me: Ella, do I look like the kind of mother who would allow you to wear booty shorts?

Her: Um, no. And Mama, what are booty shorts anyway?

May 4, 2010: Ella on Farmer(s') Markets

As relayed to me by my friend, Diana.

At the end of last fall we went to a farmer's market in Occoquan. The pickings were pretty slim as it was so late in the season. Ella was telling Miss Diana all about it ...

Ella: Really they shouldn't have called it the Farmers' Market, they should just call it the Farmer Market!

May 3, 2010: Ella on the Human Body

Ella: Mama, how many bones are there in the human body? If I had to guess I'd say 150-160. What do you think?

Me: Let me google that for you.

206. Now you know.