Good Morning

I crack open my eyes one weekend morning to see Max standing bedside.

"Mama, I just wanted to say I love you and Good Morning!"

Ella & Max On Santa

Literally, on Santa, i.e. their Christmas requests while on the big guy's lap.

Ella: Oh Santa, surprise me!

Max: I want cars, big cars, lots of big cars!

(told you they were opposites, it is really quite comical at times)

Guest Post: Max on Growing Up

Max: Mama, when I grow up I am going to get rid of my blankie. And stop sucking my thumb. And I am going to marry you. Oh, and I am going to get a BIG truck!

Ella on Birds

Ella: Mama, did you know there are two types of birds that can hover?

Me: A hummingbird....and...um....uh.

Ella: And a fisherking, or maybe its a kingfisher.

Ella on Santa

Ella to Santa upon his request for her list: Surprise me!

Ella on Modern Times

Ella: I prefer good old old-fashioned letters, like hand written ones.

Me: Why?

Her: Because you don't have to download them.

Ella on Vampire Bats

Ella: "Mama did you know that vampire bats don't actually suck blood? They just lap it up with their tongues."

Guest Post: Max on Charming the Ladies

The other morning Max wandered into our bedroom bleary eyed. I greeted him as I always do. "Good morning, buddy!"

He responded, "Good morning, babycakes!"

Ella on Career Changes

Ella: "Mama, don't you kind of miss Jana?"

Me: "Yes, of course, Ella. Very much."

Her: "I miss her too mama. A lot. But sometimes you just have to move on."

May 27, 2010: Ella on Camping

We are preparing to go on a three day camping trip. CAPITAL C CAMPING - like in a tent, in the wilderness, no running water Camping. I have never been Camping. I have been camping (note the lower case - because it involved running water and something called a tent cabin, hard floor/tent walls). Even I know that wasn't Camping.

Anyway, I have been preparing for it for what seems like forever. Kind of silly that the prep and packing is taking longer than the actual trip will, but I digress.

Today on the way home from school.

Me: I am really going to miss my shower.

Ella: Mama, do not worry. You will just smell like a wild animal. The other wild animals won't even be able to smell you so you will be safe.

Ella: Mama, do you know what to do if a bear approaches you?

None of this is making me feel better!

May 13, 2010: Ella on Sarcasm

One evening we had our friends over for dinner for good times and to celebrate KK’s husband, Andy’s, birthday. When it came time to cut the cupcakes (so to speak) Ella and the grown-ups gathered around and “Auntie” KK offered up a toast to Andy....

KK: I would like to propose a toast to my wonderful husband of 12 years. I never dreamed that I would meet a sweeter, more thoughtful, more wonderful and amazing person….

Ella: (interrupting and in a serious tone and serious face) KK, are you being sarcastic??

KK: No!! I’m being serious!

This was immediately followed by everyone bursting into uncontrollable laughter.

May 12, 2010: Ella on Child Discipline

Ella: Mama what EXACTLY do you mean when you say you brought me into this world and you can take me out?

Me: It means I gave you life and I can take it away.

Her: But not really, right?

Me: No, not really.

Her: Because 1) you would really miss me and 2) you would get arrested and go to jail.

Me: Yep.

May 10, 2010: Quiz of the Day - Humans and Giraffes

Ella: Mama, what do humans and giraffes have in common?

Me: We have necks?

Her: Ugh, Mama, most animals have necks! Humans and giraffes have the same number of bones in their necks. 7.

May 6, 2010: Quiz of the Day - Dolphins & Cows

Ella: Mama, I have a quiz for you. What do dolphins and cows have in common OTHER than their babies are called calves?

Me: Um, they are both big.

Her: Well, that is true mama, but no. They both have two stomachs. 1 is for digestion and 1 is for, well, something else.

May 5, 2010: Ella on Appropriate Clothing

Ella: Mama are these booty shorts?

Me: Ella, do I look like the kind of mother who would allow you to wear booty shorts?

Her: Um, no. And Mama, what are booty shorts anyway?

May 4, 2010: Ella on Farmer(s') Markets

As relayed to me by my friend, Diana.

At the end of last fall we went to a farmer's market in Occoquan. The pickings were pretty slim as it was so late in the season. Ella was telling Miss Diana all about it ...

Ella: Really they shouldn't have called it the Farmers' Market, they should just call it the Farmer Market!

May 3, 2010: Ella on the Human Body

Ella: Mama, how many bones are there in the human body? If I had to guess I'd say 150-160. What do you think?

Me: Let me google that for you.

206. Now you know.

April 30, 2010: Ella on Birthday Party Invites

Me: I sent our your party invitations, I just need to know if there are any girls in your class you want to invite.

Ella: Um, maybe Ramisa. She's my favorite girl.

Me: Just Ramisa. No one else? Really?

Her: No, the rest of the girls....well, mama, the rest of the girls are just too girlie! Do I look like pink is my favorite color?!?!?!

April 29, 2010: Ella on Prison Attire

Ella: Mama, why back in the old days did they make prisoners wear black and white? That is so weird. I think it is much better that they wear bright orange now. We can totally see them if they escape.

April 27, 2010: Ella on Family

Ella: My cousin, Alex, has great taste in french fries. He's really smart.

Not sure if great taste in french fries and intelligence are definitely linked, but I think she might be onto something.